Siren Song:

Simone’s Notes:

Desire is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome. The same sense is expressed by emotions such as "craving" or "hankering". When a person desires something or someone, their sense of longing is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of the item or person, and they want to take actions to obtain their goal. The motivational aspect of desire has long been noted by philosophers; Hobbes (1588–1679) asserted that human desire is the fundamental motivation of all human action. In Buddhism, for an individual to effect his or her liberation, the flow of sense-desire must be cut completely; however, while training, he or she must work with motivational processes based on skillfully applied desire. The Buddha stated, according to the early Buddhist scriptures, that monks should "generate desire" for the sake of fostering skillful qualities and abandoning unskillful ones.

Edward cannot escape his two obsessions. Both of them are women very dear to his sanity. He needs both Winry and Derdra to keep him from falling into complete darkness. As long as they are there, he still has hope of coming home. However, that doesn’t excuse him from having his own temptations.

He was a monster and they are his potential prey. Monsters hunt prey, that’s just the natural way of things. Edward trembled just thinking about that. I can’t hurt them, he would think. I won’t be able to save myself. Yet, they wouldn’t stop calling out to him. How they reacted to him as he was now only made things worse. Last week, Edward tried to talk to Winry, but she wouldn’t even get near him. She wouldn’t open the window for him when he knocked.

“Winry,” he pleaded. “Let me in!”

“No!” she cried. “Go away!”

“Please?” he pleaded.

“No!” she yelled. He could understand why. He was no longer the boy she fell in love with. His own lust and desire turned him into an ugly monster that she has come to dread. Yet, she knows why he tries to come to her. Edward is reaching out for help. The only way that he could it was through the women he obsessed over. That what scared Winry the most. Derdra was no difference.

She couldn’t even look him in the eye anymore. The young nurse tried her best to keep her distance. It doesn’t sit well with him.

“Do I frighten you?” he asked her one night. Derdra stared at her hands in her lap.

“Well… yes,” she mumbled.

“Why,” the incubus demanded. “Tell me why?” Derdra looked further away. Edward turned her face towards his.

“Look me in the eye and tell me the truth,” he said. He could feel her trembling in the palm of his hand. Her eyes tried to look in another direction. Edward breathed in heavily.

“Tell me the truth,” he said. “I won’t hurt you, I promise.” Derdra pressed her lips together.

“I keep feeling like you’re going to devour me,” she admitted. That felt like a stab to the chest. He knew that she spoke the truth. He was a monster after all. Both she and Winry were his prey. However, she doesn’t run away. Edward keeps wondering how long that will last. He wanted to keep away, but his own desperation refused.

You need them! You are lost without them.

Edward sat back and chuckled. Oh, that old voice. It just would leave him be. The incubus shook his head. It’s sad, really. He can’t break away from it. Edward lied back on his bed in the apartment. It was all sad, really.

What has become of me? Kind of pointless to ask, really. Edward doesn’t know how to stop. It isn’t clear if he wanted to. So pathetic that he enjoyed his vices so much. The incubus alchemist had no choice but to admit it. Edward opened his eyes.

I need help, he thought. Winry and Derdra were his answer, but could he even get close enough to them again for that? The incubus would have to keep on “praying” and reaching out to them until his voice was heard for redemption.