III: Sexual Repression
Dry Spell Again:
Simone’s Notes:
According to Irons and Schneider, the signs of porn or any other addiction are the following:
1. Recurrent failure to resist impulses to engage in a specified behavior
2. Increasing sense of tension immediately prior to initiating the behavior
3. Pleasure or relief at the time of engaging in the behavior
4. At least five of the following:
a. Frequent preoccupation with the behavior or with activity that is preparatory to the behavior
b. Frequent engaging in the behavior to a greater extent or over a longer period than intended
c. Repeated efforts to reduce, control, or stop the behavior
d. A great deal of time spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects
e. Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations
f. Important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of the behavior
g. Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior
h. Tolerance: need to increase the intensity or frequency of the behavior in order to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behavior of the same intensity
i. Restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior
5. Some symptoms of the disturbance have persisted for at least one month, or have occurred repeatedly over a longer period of time
The case that I visited with Dr. Howard shook me to my core.
Dr. Howard and Simone made it to Central Headquarters by morning. The doctor looked around smiling. “Take a good look, Simone,” she said aloud. “The military is an abundant place for information on sex. You’ll have a boatload of info to write ten volumes of knowledge for Professor Collins. I wish I could see his face when he has to read every single word of it!!!” *Simone falls over as Dr. Howard laughs wickedly* “Do I really go over board with my data?!?” the college girl thought to herself. *Anime-style tears on her face*
“But I don’t get it,” Simone spoke up when she was to her feet again. Dr. Howard turned to her student. “Don’t get what?” she asked. “Why here?” the college girl asked. “What does the military have to do with my research?” The doctor just smiled at her. “You’ll see in time,” she replied. “But at the moment, get to know everyone here and put the information you have so far together.” “Okay…” Simone said uneasily. Dr. Howard smiled kindly at her. “Good,” she said. “Get to work! You have a busy day today.” The research student nodded at her eagerly. Then, the two ladies walked inside.
Dr. Howard roamed the halls for a bit looking for her patient when she ran into Jim, Andrew, and Breda. They all looked worried. The psychiatrist stopped in concern. “Hello gentlemen,” she spoke up. “Is there a problem?” “It’s Mike!” Andrew exclaimed. “He’s having another withdrawal!” Dr. Howard’s face became dark and serious. “Well, where is he?” she asked. “We have him in the broom closet right now.” Breda replied. “Take me to him now!” Dr. Howard demanded quickly. The four of them rushed down the hall lighting fast.
They came to the closet near the exit. Dr. Howard pounded on the door. “Mike!” she called out. “It’s me, Dr. Howard! I can to help you through this withdrawal! Say something!” They all listened closely for a moment. Jim, Andrew, and Breda stayed close to her. Things looked pretty grim for a while. “I can’t take it!” Mike called out at last. “I need porn, badly!” Dr. Howard stood her ground. “No, you don’t!” she called back. “Listen to me Mike! Stay strong! You can get through this battle! I’m here now! You can do it! I know you can! I have faith in you!” “But what if I can’t win?” Mike asked in fear. “What if this addiction wins again and I am back where I started?” “Don’t say that!” the psychiatrist yelled back. “You will beat this disease! The addiction is not your fault! You can rise above it! I know you can! I have strong faith in you!” “I can’t do it!” the major screamed out as his voice trembled. “It’s going to win!” “Don’t give up now!” Dr. Howard yelled back strongly.
Mike sat inside the closet trembling in weakness. The others had to lock him in there and called Dr. Howard for help. Breda and Jim had to guard the door until help came. The withdrawal was getting worse and worse. The major only wanted to make himself disappear into thin air and hide in the empty space from everyone again him. “Why doesn’t she just give up on me?” he thought to himself. “Do they all think it’s useless to save me now? So why are they even bothering to help me at all?” The seconds felt like hours in this dark hole. He felt as if the walls were closing in on him. The ceiling seemed to want to crash down on him at any moment. Mike held his knees closer to his chest and bit down on his lip so hard that it almost bled. He was so deep into the withdrawal that he couldn’t even feel the pain he caused himself. The man had it bad this time!
Simone walked down the hall to ask Dr. Howard a question when she ran into a crowd huddled around the broom closet. Curious, she walked over to the group. She tapped Fuery lightly on the shoulder. The master sergeant slowly turned to her. Simone looked at him for a bit. “What’s going on?” she asked the small man. “Dr. Howard is trying to talk Mike through a withdrawal in the broom closet.” Fuery explained. Simone’s eyes lit up in excitement. She quickly pushed through the crowd to the center to fully watch her mentor in action. “I won’t leave you, Mike!” the doctor called. “Just come out now and I’ll buy you lunch.” A long pause and silence followed that proposal. Everyone waited for an answer from him. “Do you really mean it?” Mike asked at last. “Yes, I do!” the doctor called out. In took a few minutes, but the door finally opened wide.
Simone gasped in shock at the mere sight of the major. Mike was sleep-deprived and pale. He looked as if he was bout to throw up. His knees were tightly held to his chest. The man looked as if he was going to cry. A small trail of blood was running from his lip onto his chin where he had bitten it. All of the other military eyed him in shock. The color from Simone’s face was completely gone. She was too lost for words. “So this how sex and porn addicts look during a withdrawal!” she thought in cold shock. Dr. Howard slowly stepped forward and held out her hand. “Come on,” she said softly. “I won’t leave you until you act back to normal again. Just come on.” No one moved for a long while. Mike just stared at the psychiatrist for a moment in disbelief. “After all of that,” he thought. “She still won’t leave me!” The major slowly reached out his hand and grabbed of Dr. Howard’s. She slowly helped him up to his feet and out to the hall. The crowd quickly left after that.
Dr. Howard and Simone stayed with Mike through lunch and the rest of the day. Simone watched Mike as he food like normal. She was amazed at her mentor’s work today. “How was Dr. Howard still able to hold her ground for a long moment and talk Major Thomas back to his senses?” she wondered in amazement. “She is just like Professor Collins!” Right then, Simone decided to learn and follow the doctor’s work to help with her budding research. Now, she saw why her professor chose her to stay with his dear friend.