The Road I’m On

*Laurence*

The door opened wide the next morning. I knew right then, Ralph was home again. I already had breakfast and aspirin set out for him. I sat down at the table waiting for him. I prepared myself to endure another tale of club-banging, partying, nose candy feasting, and drinking from him. My brother made it to the living room/dining room within seconds. He looked more disheveled than usual this morning. I was genuinely concerned. “Ralph?” I asked. “Are you okay?” “Yeah!” he said quickly. A pause sat between us for a moment. “So,” I began again. “How was your night?” “Don’t even bother!” he snapped at me. Silence came again. “That bad, huh?” I asked. “Yep!” my older brother sighed aloud. Then, he sat down in front of me at the table.

“It was awful!” he began as we ate breakfast. “There we all were in the club, Matt, Stef, Shannon, Mel, Angie, Sadie, and I, enjoying ourselves. Actually, Stef was over near the bar smoking his pot. I tried to drag him out to the dance floor so he could meet so nice gay guys, but he just told me to f**k off.” “Uh-huh,” I said. “And then what?” “I went and flirted with a couple of chicks just so I won’t have to worry about dumb old Stef anymore for the night,” Ralph went on. “They were really hot! Both were sexy blondes with big boobs. I began planning for a threesome from the first moment I saw them. I know Mel is hot and all, but what’s wrong with a little hamburger here and there? Every man needs to go out for fast-food from time to time.” “Anyway!” I cut in. “What made your night so awful?” “Oh yeah, that!” Ralph spoke up. “I was flirting with my two blonde chicks when I heard Sadie scream out, ‘UNCLE NO!!!!’ Everyone looked up to see Stef kicking some guy’s ass. Many of the guys in the club were trying to stop him, but he kept beating on the guy. Security had to come and drag him away. Then, the guards made us leave with him! I didn’t even get my chicks’ numbers!”

I listened the whole time like supportive younger brother should. “Then what did you do?” I asked. “We all went out to a bar,” Ralph went on. “The same thing happened, end of story!” Silence passed between us again. “I don’t understand why Stef has to be a tight-ass when guys hit on Sadie!” my brother called out annoyed. “He’s only protecting her!” I pointed out. “Why?!?” he snapped. “She’s nineteen years old! The woman can take care of herself!” “Well,” I said. “Why not address the problem to Stef? I’m sure he’ll understand a fellow party-goer if you talk to him.” A familiar devilish smile came across Ralph’s face. Uh-oh! My message has been twisted up in his head again! Then, a chain of events happen and I get blamed for it! God, I hate when that happens!

“You know what,” Ralph spoke up. “You’re right! I’ll talk to Stef right now and straighten him out tonight! I’ll even keep a close eye on him with the other guys the entire time! Thanks, Larry!” Then, he slapped me on the arm painfully. I winced in pain as response. My brother just grinned at me and left for to flirt with more girls in his classes. I sighed aloud to myself in stress. Oi, why must things be hard with the other boys here at times? I put the breakfast dishes in the sink and headed off the class.

This World Can’t Turn Me Down