Red Poison Berries:

Simone’s Notes:

Some evolutionary psychologists theorize that guilt and shame helped maintain beneficial relationships, such as reciprocal altruism. If a person feels guilty when he harms another, or even fails to reciprocate kindness, he is more likely not to harm others or become too selfish. In this way, he reduces the chances of retaliation by members of his tribe, and thereby increases his survival prospects, and those of the tribe or group. As with any other emotion, guilt can be manipulated to control or influence others. As a highly social animal living in large groups that are relatively stable, we need ways to deal with conflicts and events in which we inadvertently or purposefully harm others. If someone causes harm to another, and then feels guilt and demonstrates regret and sorrow, the person harmed is likely to forgive. Thus, guilt makes it possible to forgive, and helps hold the social group together. Guilt is founded on our empathy system and mirror neurons. When we see another carrying out an action, we carry out the action ourselves in neuronal activity, though not in overt action. The neurons that mirror others are called mirror neurons. When we see another person suffering, we can feel their suffering as if it is our own. This constitutes our powerful system of empathy, which leads to our thinking that we should do something to relieve the suffering of others. If we cannot help another, or fail in our efforts, we experience feelings of guilt. From the perspective of group selection, groups that are made up of a high percent of co-operators outdo groups with a low percent of co-operators in between-group competition. People who are more prone to high levels of empathy-based guilt may be likely to suffer from anxiety and depression; however, they are also more likely to cooperate and behave altruistically. This suggests that guilt-proneness may not always be beneficial at the level of the individual, or within-group competition, but highly beneficial in between-group competition. Another common notion is that guilt is assigned by social processes, such as a jury trial; i. e., that it is a strictly legal concept. Thus, the ruling of a jury that O.J. Simpson or Julius Rosenberg was "guilty" or "not innocent" is taken as an actual judgment by the whole society that they must act as if they were so. By corollary, the ruling that such a person is "not guilty" may not be so taken, due to the asymmetry in the assumption that one is assumed innocent until proven guilty, and prefers to take the risk of freeing a guilty party over convicting innocents. Still others—often, but not always, theists of one type or another—believe that the origin of guilt comes from violating universal principles of right and wrong. In most instances, people who believe this also acknowledge that even though there is proper guilt from doing 'wrong' instead of doing 'right,' people endure all sorts of guilty feelings which do not stem from violating universal moral principles.

Central was turning into a different place now. One filled with sorrow and misery. Guilt rained heavily on everyone’s mind. Many thoughts swirled around the gloomy air.

“Why do I keep going back to him?”

“Does she really love me?”

“Am I pretty enough?”

“Does he really love me or is he really trying to get into my pants?”

“Does she want better than me?”

“I’ve hurt Carole enough. She doesn’t deserve someone like me.”

“What could I have done different to keep Damon home?”

“Will I still be married?”

“Does he really want a divorce?”

“One kiss doesn’t make a lesbian, does it?”

“I love him, but he’s straight.”

“I have a crush on a girl, am I bi?”

“Is he cheating on me?”

“I’ll never find a good man.”

“Does she suspect that I’m seeing someone else?”

“I really should leave him, but he’s the best that I could do.”

As the questions grew, the guilt became heavier around them. Above, the malice angel fed off of it all with a crooked smile.

Down on earth, Alex was still locked in his coma-opium endued prison. He seemed to be in a peaceful moment.

XXVIII:

Hazy summer. Alex slowly opened his eyes to a warming, softness. He felt cool, wet grass underneath his young body. He didn’t feel like getting up at all. Memories of his mother and early childhood filled his head. His breathing slowed down to a soft rhythm in his chest. “This is heaven,” the lamb thought. The grass under his head felt like a nice pillow to him.

Little specks of light floated before his very eyes. They didn’t really seem to be flying, these lights were just floating. A small, warm smile spread across his face. “Fireflies!” the boy thought happily. He reached out to try to reach out and grab one of the lights. Alex couldn’t touch them.

“So pretty,” he thought. A faint sound played into his ear. A banjo to be more exact. It wasn’t playing an awful melody. No, instead it was a soft and romantic lullaby. Resisting sleep was not possible. Alex tried his best to stay awake in this lazy summer morning. He lost to the tranquility and dreams that were budding around him. The lamb’s eyes slowly sank shut again. His misery and heartache fell away as he did so.

“I’m not ready to leave…” was Alex’s last thought before falling asleep in his grassy summer nirvana.

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