Naval Wine:

Simone’s Notes:

Kiss and tell. One has sex or make out with their partner and then brag about it to their friends. Simple, right? Not so much! There are complications to this simple method. The factors are company, details, and consequences. Company involves who is going to tell others and who isn’t. Details include what one chooses to put in and leave out. Finally, consequences depend on how bad the other two factors are. Most of the time, it all turns into a horrible mess!

Today was Elysia’s fifth birthday party. Everything will be innocent and fun, right? No! (Otherwise it would be a boring story!) Anyway, Hughes was checking one last time to see if everything was just right. The man wanted his daughter to have the best birthday party ever! (Little did he know…) Gracia had to calm him down a few times so he didn’t have any health problems. Speaking of which, it’s also Edward’s birthday too. He was seventeen today. So, everyone decided to have a double party. But, there were two different ideas of a party. The Dark Moon clan was plotting a night on the town for Edward. The good old bar-hopping, clubbing, and hooking up with hot women (and men) for the night act. “This’ll be great!” Matt called out. “The guy will be wasted before the night’s over!” “Damn right!” Stef called out. He, Matt, Ralph, and Kenisuke grinned to themselves. But sadly, the door slid open. The men looked up and saw Winry. She was smiling at them all. Uh-oh, here comes the party crashing.

“I have decided that everyone will go to Elysia’s party and celebrate Ed’s birthday as well!” the mechanic announced happily. “WHAT?!?” the men yelled out. Winry nodded as she smiled. “You guys are not going to go out partying and acting like idiots this year!” she protested. “Why?!?” Ralph yelled out. “You never fail to pull something like this!” Winry went on. “Every time we have a birthday here, it’s always the same! We all go out on the town, drink, party, get some random person, and then we all wake up hung over and sick! Well, not this year! We’re going to have some clean fun for Edward’s birthday party! And that’s final!” The men sat groaning. “Why do we have to go to some kid’s birthday party?” Stef wailed out. “Because,” Winry went on. “It’s the right thing to do!” The mechanic turned to leave. “And don’t even try to smuggle any drugs in either!” she yelled out. Then, the door slid shut. The men groaned again. This was going to be a long evening!

By four o’clock, the Dark Moons were ready to go. Angelica, Melanine, and Shannon were happy to go. Angelica would get to see Hughes again. Mel and Shannon would get to see some gorgeous men at the party. Torii would get to see some nice girls at the party. Poppy and Lonna were happy to get out of the inn. Laurence, Edward, and Perry were happy to do the same. The rest of the boys were disappointed. Winry walked in front of her housemates. “Ready to go?” she asked. “Yes,” everyone else said in different tones. “Great!” he mechanic chirped. “Let’s go!” Then, they all headed out.

Hughes was standing outside waiting for the flood of guests to come in. “This is going to be the best party ever!” he thought in joy. The lieutenant colonel was over the moon today. His mood rose up even higher when he saw the first car pull up. Hughes waited in anticipation. Roy Mustang came out with Daphine Waters. Maes had to wear down his friend in order to get him to come. The lieutenant colonel was happy it worked. Daphine decided to come with Mustang as well in order to get into his pants. (“I can take children,” she reasoned. “Two of my friends have children and besides, a little arm candy would do you some good.)

Daphine looked up at Mustang. He looked annoyed to be here. “Aw, come on!” she called out. “Smile, it can’t be that bad!” The colonel didn’t look down at her. “He’s going to talk about his daughter and showed me pictures all day!” he groaned. “So?” the nurse asked. “Just act like you are interested!” “She doesn’t know!” Mustang thought in distress. The pair walked up to Hughes. “Hey!” the lieutenant colonel called out in joy. “So good to see you!” “Good to see you!” Roy said back. Maes turned to Daphine. “And who is this young lady here?” he asked. The nurse stood up straight. “How do you do?” she said in her fake nice voice. “My name is Daphine Waters.” Hughes smiled at her. “Nice to meet you,” he said. Then, they shook on that. Mustang quickly grabbed the nurse by the arm and rushed inside. He was determined not to have Daphine as another one of his friend’s victims. The nurse gave the lieutenant colonel a quick wave as they went inside.

Next to come was Jim and Daisy. Daisy had two gifts in her hands. One for Edward and the other for Elshya. Jim still looked a little worried. He hadn’t gotten over Don’s secret with Jessie. The man was still loyal to Tamsin. Daisy was cool with it. (“I knew it all along!” she had told him. “He told you?” her husband yelled out in shock. “Yes!” Daisy answered calmly as if to sooth a distressed child. That didn’t help at all!) “Hi Maes!” Daisy called out in a cheery voice. “Hello Daisy!” the lieutenant colonel greeted her. They shook causally. Hughes turned to Jim. “What’s with him?” he asked. “Long story!” Daisy said quickly. Then, they went inside.

Then, the Dark Moon clan arrived. Hughes was happy to see Ed and Winry again. “The birthday boy is here!” he thought. But soon that happiness faded away when he saw Angelica. Panic filled him up quickly. “Oh no! It’s her!” the poor lieutenant colonel thought. He didn’t forget when she sat on his lap that day. The man thought he was going to be sick. Angelica saw him and smiled. That only made Hughes even worse. The clan made it to him. Winry noticed his face. “Mr. Hughes?” she asked. “What’s wrong?” He recovered at the sound of her voice. “Uh… N-Nothing!” the lieutenant colonel said quickly. “Nice to see you all!” “Isn’t it?” Angelica asked with a smile. Her voice made him shudder. Maes hadn’t forgotten about her sitting on his lap his entire wait. Angelica just kept smiling at him. Poppy turned and looked up at her. “Angie,” she spoke up. “What did you do to him?” Angelica just shrugged at her. “Nothing really.” she said. Then, the Dark Moons all went inside. Hughes was finally able to breathe again.

Once the guests were all here, the party began. All seemed decent at first. The guests and the birthday people were socializing nicely. Ed noticed that the dog was quiet and sleeping. It was nice for a change. He could actually focus on the party. But for how long? Mustang was actually. enjoying himself for a change until he saw Havoc and Jacilyn together. He and nobody else could believe that they were still together! It had been nearly two weeks and they were still going strong! Jim was raking in mega bucks off of the relationship. The colonel felt himself getting crushed again. Then, the lieutenant and his girlfriend walked over to him. “Hey chief!” Havoc called out. Mustang made himself recover enough to talk to him. “Hello, Lieutenant, and Nurse Ray.” he said nicely. Jacilyn smiled at him as if to say, “This is the man picked over you, view and weep!” Roy just felt sick looking at her.

Elsewhere, Jim was starting to have problems as well. He happened to look up and see Don and Jessie together talking. The lieutenant began to remember yesterday’s confession. “How could Don keep this from me for a whole year?” he thought to himself. Jim was lost in thought when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He jerked around to see Nately looking at him. “Oh it’s you!” Jim said flatly. “Don’t sound so distort.” the other lieutenant chirped. Wright just stared at him as if to say, “Will you just shut up and leave me alone?” Nately looked up and paused. “Oh God!” he whispered. “It’s her!” Jim looked up and saw what his comrade was talking about. “Oh, lady Kathleen.” Wright said. Lady Kathleen Gates was the daughter of a wealthy warlord. She was a beautiful lass. The woman’s hair was a sweet reddish blonde to her tiny waist. Her eyes were a perfect marble greenish-brown. Today, she was wearing a lovely gold and black silk kimono. Kathleen was here to see her friend, Mia. For years, Nately was infatuated with the lady and wanted her so badly. However, there sat a major problem. Kathleen was in an arranged marriage to duke that her family had known his family for years. Besides, Nately had never even talked to her personally.

“You still carry a torch for her, eh?” a voice called from behind the men. Jim and Nately turned to see Daniel. He was walking towards them with Madeline on his arm. “Hi, Dan.” the lieutenants said in uneasy voices. Jim looked at Madeline. “Daniel,” he spoke up. “Who is this?” The major smiled in joy. “Gentleman!” he called out. “This is my friend, Madeline Sampson.” Dan then turned to his female pal. “Maddie,” he went on. “These are my friends, second lieutenant Jim Wright and second lieutenant Nately Reed.” The men smiled at his lady friend. “How do you do?” Nately asked her. “Great!” she called out. Daniel smiled at all three of them. “Good!” he said. “I’ll leave you three to get acquainted.”

The bubble called trouble didn’t start leaking until the birthday cake came out. Elysia and Edward were about to pull out the candles when they heard:

 

Ahh! Me so horny!

 

Me love you long time!

 

Ahh! Me so horny!

 

Me love you long time!

 

Ahh! Me so horny!

 

Me love you long time!

 

Everyone quickly looked up at Mike, who quickly realized that his cell phone was ringing loudly. “Uh…” he said awkwardly. “That would be me… *Sweat drop*” “I told you to get that stupid ringtone changed!” Andrew hissed at him under his breath. “I know,” Mike said back. “But I keep forgetting!” Then, the major hurried outside to answer his phone. Elysia turned to Maes. “Daddy,” she spoke up. “What does horny mean?” Hughes looked at her mortified. “Uh… I’ll tell you when you are older!” he said quickly. “Okay,” the birthday girl said uneasily. Once, the phone call was squared away, Mike returned. Everyone kept staring at him. “Uh…” he said quickly. “It was the wrong number! *Nervous laugh*” “Damnit!” he thought. “I’m screwed now!” But that was only the beginning of the disaster.

When it came time for the presents, confessions broke loose. Jim sat there in the background slowly loosing it. He just couldn’t take it anymore! This had to come out. “MY BEST FRIEND CHEATED ON HIS WIFE LAST YEAR!!!!” Everyone turned and looked at him. “There!” Jim yelled out. “I said it! Don Mitchell cheated on Tamsin with a nurse!!!” Don looked as if he wanted to kill his friend. “You idiot!!!” he yelled out. Jessie looked sick. Hughes and Gracia were mortified. But that was only part one of the confession booth. A drunken Madeline swayed into the room. (She got the liquor from Matt after he snuck some in his jacket.) She walked over to Kathleen and slurred out in a loud voice, “Nately is *hic* in love with *hic* you!!! He loves you dearly!!!! He is crazy about you!!!! But he’s too scared because you might reject him!!!” “NO!!!!” the major screamed out mortified. The lady looked up at her admirer blushing. Nately just wanted to crawl away somewhere and hide forever. His one biggest secret was now revealed to the woman he loved. Hughes was having the worst time of all. “Could things get any worse?” he thought to himself.

Unfortunately, they did! Ralph was over in the corner taking an ecstasy pill. The man had snuck drugs in his jacket against Winry’s orders. “Over my dead body I’m not bringing my E!” the pimp though in spite. “I’ll show her!” He was just about done when he felt someone tag on his jean leg. Elysia was looking up at him. She thought he was eating candy and wanted some too. “Can I have one?” she asked in a sweet voice. “Bug off!” Ralph said quickly as he lightly shoved the little girl out of his way. Then, he absent-mindedly threw down his jacket on the couch and walked back over to where Edward was. Well, the little girl pulled the jacket down by its sleeve and went through his inside pockets. She found the bag of ecstasy, took out two of the pills, and put it in her mouth. She headed back to her friends.

Shortly, Elysia began feeling dizzy and sweating hard. Gracia and Maes both became concerned. Angelica spotted the problem and quickly put two and two together. She shot an evil glare at Ralph and stormed over to him. The man was busy talking to some hot single mothers when he felt someone grab him by the shoulder and drag him outside. “Hey!” he yelled out. “What the hell are you doing?!?” Meanwhile, things became serious really fast. Elysia had collapsed and Hughes was desperately trying to resituate her. “Call 911!!!” he yelled out. “Call 911!!!” Melanine quickly got on her cell phone and called for help. This party had turned into a nightmare.