Mars + Venus V:
Simone’s Notes:
Redemption is a religious concept referring to forgiveness or absolution for past sins and protection from eternal damnation, generally through sacrifice. Redemption is common in many world religions and all Abrahamic Religions, especially in Christianity and Islam. In Christianity, redemption is synonymous with salvation. The Christian religion, though not the exclusive possessor of the idea of redemption, has given to it a special definiteness and a dominant position. Taken in its widest sense, as deliverance from dangers and ills in general, most religions teach some form of it. It assumes an unimportant position, however, only when the ills in question form part of a great system against which human power is helpless.
He waits for her outside of the hospital. It is a ritual of theirs. She knows he is waiting for her. How could she not? He is there almost every night. He always looks like he wants to come inside, but she knows otherwise. He never wants to come in. Only they know why. But, Derdra pretends not to. In fact, she pretends not to see him until shift is over. Every staff member in the hospital asks about him, but she just doesn’t answer. They won’t understand. So, she keeps it all deep inside of her. Gnawing away at her worse and worse each day.
Five more minutes until her shift is over. Derdra looked up at the clock and winced. She always hated this part. But, Edward had nowhere else to turn to. Sure, Winry knew everything about what was going on. However, she loves him, but hates what he has become. Derdra loves Edward, but she is also afraid of him. He knows that too well. They want to distance each other from one another. But, he needs her. He still believes in redemption. She knows; she can see it in his eyes. But, it’s slowly looking like a pipe dream now. Derdra looks at the clock again. Four more minutes now. She shudders and tries to focus on something else. She never knew that four minutes could be such a long time.
At last, her shift is over. Derdra packs up her things and leaves St. Mary’s Touch. Edward stands outside, watching and waiting for her. He gives her a pleasant smile.
“Hello Derdra,” he greets her.
“Hello Edward…” she mumbled as she looked down at her feet. He moves her so that she looking him deep into the eyes. He gave her a light kiss on the lips. She wants to push away, but he is desperate tonight. He has done something terribly wrong. So, the nurse kisses him back. Edward lets her go.
“Shall we go?” he asked.
“Yes,” she murmured. The incubus squeezed her hand and they walk down to the train station to catch the late night train. He paid for the tickets, you know? Being the only people there, they don’t have to wait long. Derdra and Edward board the train and ride around the city to home. Along the way, they begin to talk.
I
“It has begun, hasn’t it?”
“I’m afraid it has.”
“So what happens next?” He took her hand into his.
“Revolution. Change.”
“But all of those innocent people are going to die.”
“That’s the price we have to pay if we want to change.”
“I know. But you are talking mass murder for sex.”
“It’s what we do, Dee. There is no other way.” She really wanted that she could believe that.
II
“What will become of me?”
“Nothing.” She looks dead-on at him.
“What do you mean?” He took her by the hand again.
“I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“How can I be sure of that?”
“I need you!”
“But what about the others?”
“What about them?”
“What’s going to happen to them?”
“Who can say?”
“They will be alright, right?” He shook his head.
“I can’t promise that.”
“Don’t hurt them!”
“I can’t promise that.”
“Try!”
“That’s only if they submit to us.” She looks away. He puts his hand on her shoulder.
“That just how we are. We can’t help it anymore.” She still refused to look at him.
III
“I told Winry everything.”
“What did she say?” She shrugged and shook her head.
“She misses you. But she hates what you have become.”
“I know.” She looked out the as the window. The city lights passed over her face. He watches along with her.
“I’m going to spare her as well.” She looked over at him.
“So nothing will happen to us?”
“No.”
“But not the others?” He didn’t say anything. She keeps looking out the window as the train passes on into the night.
IV
She is fair game. All of that sweet flowing through her veins. It’s like a holy challis of wine that never empties. Drink her! Drink her up quickly! He tightly shuts his eyes and counts out loud in his mind to quiet his hungers. It used to work, but ever since the gates opened up, he found himself on the losing end of saving what’s left of his humanity.
No, I mustn’t drink from Derdra!
Why? He counted faster.
I will be trapped in Hell forever. I don’t want to be in Hell anymore! A loud laughter ripped through his head. He tries to count loud enough in his mind to drown it out.
What’s so funny?
She is a distraction to you Edward. She and Winry are the reasons why you still have that useless heart of yours. You have to kill your own heart. Kill the nurse and you will put an end to nonsensical battle that you rage with her around! Kill her! Kill her now! Kill her! Kill her! Edward snapped and found himself on top of Derdra with his hands clasped tightly around her throat. She didn’t scream out. She only looked up at him as she was potentially going to die tonight. But then, Edward came back to earth and saw what he was doing. He quickly let go of the nurse and backed away. Derdra sat up and gasped for air. She quickly looked up.
“That scared me.” He looked out the window in guilt at what he almost did. She looked out the window as well. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.
“Want to tell me what happened?” He shook his head.
“Just drop it.”
“You sure?”
“Just drop it!” She shrugged at him without turning around.
“Okay…” Silence as they rode on still.
V
“Edward.”
“Yes?” She wouldn’t look at him. She still stared out the window at the passing city.
“Did you really kill that girl in the papers?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“We had to open the gate.” She shudders. He rubbed her on the shoulder.
“I had to do it. That’s what I am now.”
“You’re a monster.” He held her close to his chest.
“I know.” He wouldn’t let her go. She knew that. Even after they got off and she went home, she knew that he would be back soon. He needed her after all. That was how it was.