Mars + Venus IV:

Simone’s Notes:

Atonement is a doctrine that describes how sin can be forgiven by God. In Christian theology the atonement refers to the forgiving or pardoning of sin through the death of Jesus Christ by crucifixion, which made possible the reconciliation between God and creation. Within Christianity there are three main theories for how such atonement might work: the ransom theory, the satisfaction theory and the moral influence theory. The word atonement was invented in the sixteenth century by William Tyndale who recognized that there was not a direct English translation of the biblical Hebraic concept. The word is composed of two parts "at" and "onement" in order to reflect the dual aspect of Christ's sacrifice: the remission of sin and reconciliation of man to God. Tyndale's concept overcomes the limitations of the word reconciliation whilst incorporating aspects of propitiation and forgiveness.

Edward found his way back to his beloved Derdra once again. That damn need for atonement came at the most inconvenient times for him. Tonight, it came at its very worst. Edward just couldn’t get it to shut the hell up. Well, there was only one way to do that. The alchemist found his way back to St. Mary’s Touch Hospital. Derdra was just about to leave for the night. She had just walked out the door when she noticed shadow near hers. The nurse quickly turned around and saw Edward standing before her. He had his arms open and waiting for her.

“Derdra!” he said. “So good to see you again.” The nurse stared at him in fear and excitement. He had come to her because he did something very bad again. Part of her didn’t want to know what it was. But yet… she just couldn’t turn him away. He needed her so badly. So, what else could she do?

“What is it, Edward?” she asked. The incubus walked closer to her.

“Derdra, why do you fear me?” he asked. The nurse stared on still. She didn’t know how to answer him. He saw right through that easily. The nurse didn’t know whether to be afraid or feel something else. She swallowed hard as she stood firm.

“You are a murderer!” Derdra declared. Edward frowned a little bit.

“I don’t want be!” he insisted. “I need you to help me!” Derdra looked at him confused.

“How?” she challenged. Edward quickly took her by the hands. The nurse was surprised by such a random movement. The alchemist looked deep into her eyes.

“Come with me tonight!” he pleaded. “I want to roam Ametris with you!” Derdra looked at him with big eyes at his proposition.

“And nothing else?” she questioned. Edward nodded.

“Yes!” he insisted. “Please come with me.” Derdra nodded with a serious face.

“Okay,” she said. Edward gave her a kind smile.

“Let’s go,” he whispered. Derdra nodded at him once. The pair headed deep into the night-background city. The nurse looked over at her “date.”

“So where are we going, anyway?” she asked. Edward gave her a little shrug.

“Just around,” he said. Derdra kept quiet after that. She decided to just stay close by him the whole time. The incubus alchemist took the nurse into the park and nicer parts of Ametris. His “date” was amazed at what she saw. She never really knew how lovely the city could be at night. Derdra couldn’t take her eyes off of anything. Edward admitted her child-like wonder quietly as she looked at the city lights from on the hill above. She looked like a little kid at Christmas time.

“Love the scenery?” he asked. She turned around to him.

“Uh-hm,” Derdra said. Edward lightly held her hand. The nurse held his hand as well.

“You hungry?” he asked her. Derdra looked up at him.

“I hadn’t had dinner yet, why?” she asked. Edward gave her a charming little smile.

“I know a private little cafe downtown from here,” he whispered. Derdra’s eyes lit up in high joy.

“You mean…” she began. “Naw!” The alchemist nodded at her.

“Yes,” he said. “Only the best for you. His “date” didn’t know what to say. She nodded at him quickly. Edward gave her a charming little smile.

“Okay then,” he said. “Let’s go!” Edward led the nurse away from the night city of lights. They made it all the way downtown in Central. He took her to this small Italian cafe named Little Mimo’s. Derdra looked at the place in surprise. She always wanted to come down here. But yet, the nurse never really had the time to. Edward looked at her with a charming little smile.

“Well, what do you think?” he asked. Derdra turned around to him, amazed.

“Okay,” she said. “How did you find this place?” Edward shrugged at her.

“Just by looking around,” he answered. “Shall we go in?” Derdra gave him a little smile.

“I would love that!” she said. Her “date” took her by the arm and walked her inside. They sat by the window. There weren’t many people in Little Mimo’s tonight. In fact, the owner was about to close up for the night when the couple came in. So, they were the only customers at the last minute. Derdra ordered spaghetti with garlic bread sticks and red juice. Edward ordered nothing. Derdra looked at him oddly as she ate.

“You’re not hungry?” she asked. Her “date” shook his head.

“Nah,” he said. “I just want to watch you eat for now.” The nurse found that statement rather odd.

“Okay…” she said. Derdra took another bit of her food. Edward watched her do so. Then suddenly, his own hunger started up again. It finally hit him in a strong and violent way. He really wanted her blood tonight. To drink from his holy goddess would give him immortal strength and life. The monster just had to have her.

Edward tried his best to fight back. “No!” he thought desperately. “I can’t do that to her! I just… can’t!” He knew too well what would happen if drink from her and turned her. It wasn’t worth it. It just wasn’t worth it!

“Edward,” a voice called to him. The alchemist looked up through his hunger pains. Derdra looked at him in concern with her fork in her hand.

“Edward, is something wrong?” she asked. The monster looked at her for a long moment. He shook his head at her.

“It’s nothing,” he lied. “I just… a moment… Excuse me!” The alchemist quickly ran outside. Derdra looked on at him in worry.

Edward stood out in the heavy January night air. The hunger was invading him faster than an army. The black and red in eyes blinded him. The voices in his head came back again.

“Come Edward!” they kept saying. “Bite the nurse and drink her blood! You know you want to!” He could hardly stand up straight. The poor monster felt as if he would faint in any second. He needed blood and needed it now! But where could he get it? Derdra was out of the question. So what could the monster do?

“Ed?” a voice asked behind him. The incubus alchemist whipped around again. His “date” stood in the doorway, watching him. Worry flooded her eyes. Edward began to panic in his nauseating hunger. Oh, this was not good! Not good at all!

“Edward? What’s the matter with you?” she asked as she walked closer to her date.

“Stay back!” the alchemist commanded.

“But Ed…” his date said in worry.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!” he yelled. “Run away!”

“No!” Derdra yelled. “I won’t leave you!”

“Don’t you understand?!?” he questioned. “I am a monster! Get away from me before I end up killing you! Don’t you see?!? Just run away!!!” Derdra refused to listen. She kept walking closer and closer to him. Edward watched on in heavier worry. He could already see how this picture would end. Him grabbing her by the coat, dragging her in, biting her on the neck, and drinking her blood until he killed her. He shook his head violently. “No, no!” the alchemist thought. “I can’t let this happen! I must try to get her away from me before that happens!” But, Edward found that he couldn’t really move at all. The cruel hunger had weakened his whole body and refused to obey him at all. How long before his mind abandoned reason and gave into deep, impulse-driven instinct? He didn’t even want to count down to it.

Derdra made it all the way to him. She tried to take him into her arms. Edward fought her off in vain.

“What is wrong with you?!?” he shouted. “Are you stupid?!? Do you want to die today?!? Why won’t you just run away?!?” Derdra lightly shushed him as she still held onto him. Once he had calmed down some, the nurse turned his face to her.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I will take you home now so that you can rest. I will get a go-to box and pay the bill, do you hear me?” Edward didn’t respond at first. He finally nodded at last. Derdra hugged him to her chest again.

“Good,” she whispered. “Let’s go.” Edward nodded as she slowly took him back into the cafe. That was it; she couldn’t abandon him now. Moments like this were why he needed her. Right then, Derdra made up her mind: she was going to help Edward get better—no matter what!