Life On My Own

        *Laurence*

        I never had much luck with the ladies. I’m not undesirable or anything like that. I just luck the charm my older brother, Ralph, has with women. You see, I do get girlfriends, but he always steals them away from me. I don’t know how it happens. It just does.

        This is how it works. I meet a nice girl, we hit it off so well, go on a few dates and enjoy ourselves, I take her to meet my family, my family likes my girlfriend, Ralph likes too well, and suddenly, my girlfriend and my brother go off together in happiness while I’m left on the floor crying in sorrow. I don’t why but that’s always the outcome. I’m very hesitant about introducing my girlfriends to Ralph. But they always guarantee me that they’ll stay faithful to me. Ha! That’s a laugh. But I am so desperate and stupid to believe them! Well, not the desperate and stupid.

        The irony of it all is, that Ralph treats my girlfriends poorly. He cheats on them and they end up crying to me. I try to warn them but they don’t ever listen to me. My brother is too much of a flirt and a player to settle down with one woman. He just wants to keep playing the fields. We are polar opposites in the love department. I want a nice girlfriend, he just wants to f**k around with every hot female that walks by him. I’m telling you. If Ralph keeps this up, he’ll be a father or be dying of aids before he’s thirty. Time after time, I tell him the harsh reality of his actions. But does he listen? No! Ralph just processes to tell me how I need to loosen up and have a good time. Sorry brother. One of us has to have some sense in our actions and it might as well be me.

        Well, here we are. At a decent academy away from home for the first time in our lives. This is good for me. I needed an escape from home. Maybe I’ll finally be a man and get a great girlfriend and actually keep her for once in my miserable life! *Sigh* If only it was that easy. You see, mom had to throw Ralph out of the house as well. She got sick of him staying around without a job and not paying rent. She forged his handwriting on an application to Tokyo-Zion Academy and shipped it in. Ralph was livid when he found out at first. But when he heard that Poppy was going to transfer school, he saw it as an opportunity to try and get laid. He is just like Sick Boy from Trainspotting.

        On the subject of Poppy, I pity the poor girl. I never dated her because she’s too young for me. I still felt sorry for the poor naive girl. In fact, I had a moral dilemma on whether or not to warn her about my brother. In the end, I did, sort of. *Sigh* It’s so hard playing the good guy.

        But now, I realize I should have been much clearer on my warning. Because now, Ralph is cheating on Poppy with her best friend, Melanine. *Sigh* I knew this would happen. I just wanted to see the girl happy. I am going to be smacking myself in the head for weeks now.

        That’s just how it is with my brother. Or so I have believed.

So You Call This Your Free Country