Intro

*Ralph*

Oh well. There goes my latest squeeze. Not my loss! But, I have Melanine now. That was the plan all along. From the moment I saw her, I knew I just had to have her. I knew Mel wouldn’t give me the time of day. So how was I going to win this lovely muse? Hmm… Hmm…

Then a light bulb went off in my head. I decided to date her best friend for a while. That way I’d gain Mel’s trust and affection, (and make her a bit jealous.) It worked, but Poppy grew attached to me. This really created problems in my plan. Dating her took longer than I expected.

Now don’t get me, I loved Poppy. But there was a small problem: she’s only fifteen. I’m twenty-one. I can’t really sleep with her. I could but I’m not R. Kelly. I’ve done some dirty work and gotten away with. And I intend on keeping that way. Now, Melanine on the other hand, she’s perfectly legal. The woman is twenty. Maybe one day Poppy will be great in bed. But for now, I have the hot sexy Melanine to tend to my “needs.” I doubt Pops will give me the time of day though. But who cares? I got what I wanted. (Don’t even think about judging me!)

I have a younger brother, Laurence. One of my hobbies next to bedding women and running great scams is bullying him around. He’s the good little angel and I’m the devil! If this was Trainspotting, I’d be Sick Boy as Pops and Larry have said, and my brother would be Spud. I’d go on but that would be beating the dead horse. Anyway, I play pranks on Laurence constantly. When he birthday comes up, I delight in giving birthday licks. I end having the guy paranoid of me punching him in the rib cage when he least expects it. Some years, I sing loudly while I punch him. *Laughs to self* Ah, great fun!

I am here because I am officially homeless! That’s right, HOMELESS!!! Mom threw both of us out. The whole shit started when Laurence got an acceptance letter from Tokyo-Zion Academy. He was as happy as I am in a porn shop. This seemed to give mom a bright idea. Mom’s POV: Hm, if my younger son is going away to school, this could be the perfect opportunity to get my other son out of the house and out my back! Ralph’s POV: So, she forged my handwriting on an application to TZA and sent it in. Apparently, Larry was in on this to because he kept smiling and winking at mom. Weeks later, I too was accepted to Tokyo-Zion Academy. This was striking blow to me. I was content to stay home and run scams while chasing ass.

But now looking at it, I’m glad I’m here. There are some fine-looking girls here. Melanine is my woman now. I’d still fantasize about doing Pops when Mel wasn’t around. Shannon, Winry, and Angelica are also hot too look at. (I have plans for them later! Hint, hint! *Naughty laugh*) Plenty of opportunities to pull off some great scams I have in store. Free samples of liquor and drugs to tied me over when I get bored. A few guys at Dark Moon House to help me with the scams, booze, and drugs. And finally, good old Larry just to keep everything from being too perfect! Yep, this is going to be one sweet year!

I’m On a Roll