Guilt Trip #007

Simone’s Notes:

Guilt appears when we least expect it. We might be in a grand mood, but then the beast hits us fast and hard. Once it comes to us, the monster doesn’t leave. It stays with us until we do something about it. The creature is usually a small one. But as we try to ignore it, the monster keeps growing and growing. What can we do to stop it and keep a strong grip on our sanity?

Edward stared out the window in misery. This was starting to get out of hand. The whole “cure” was supposed to be easy. Just a few viewing of porn a day and everything would be alright. How did it go out of hand? A normal guy would have a small set of porn hidden away from his girlfriend. Edward had enough hentai to open an adult entertainment shop. This was not normal! But sadly, the massive porn wasn’t the only problem anymore. Edward found himself visiting massage parlors and brothels on a nightly basis. His name had become big with the hookers in the Red Light District. They always called him master in the bedrooms. The horny side of the alchemist enjoyed the attention. He felt like a god in the lusty paradise.

But the innocent side of him always felt bad afterwards. Edward always wished he had said no to the hookers and stayed faithful to Winry. There was something else to the conflict as well. The alchemist remembered the affair with that hostage girl. He practically raped her. Why did he take his frustration with Yumi out on her? The girl was just an innocent victim that was going to be killed by her village. It was Yumi who he was upset with. Why was he angry with Yumi anyway? Because she had a boyfriend and wouldn’t cheat on him? She was actually doing the right thing! And what was he doing?

Edward then thought about Derdra. She was part of the problem. A major part of the problem! Sure, they were f**k buddies. But what if she fell in love with him? What if he fell in love with her? Edward loved Winry. But he just couldn’t choose between both of them. He shuttered as another disturbing thought came to him. He probably couldn’t look Derdra in the eye after all the fantasies he had been having of her and Winry screwing each other. How could he? Those images just wouldn’t leave his head at any price. They were in his dreams every night. It was embarrassing for the maids to change his sheets every night. His girlfriend even threw him of the bed in order to stay dry while sleeping for once. But still, the dreams kept coming. They would be even kinkier than the last. The alchemist just felt dirty about it afterwards.

And what about this dragon in his soul? It was even hungrier than the dog. This beast wouldn’t even give him a chance to sleep normally. It wanted more than just some girls on paper and film. Oh no! This dragon wanted real flesh. Hookers were its meal of choice. Aw, come on buddy! It’s not really cheating. You’re just getting some free services. It’s an outlet for your desire. You don’t want to wear Winry down, do you? Damn that massive lizard. Edward always believed every single lie it told him. But why? Why was he so desperate? The alchemist knew the answer too well. He just wanted to sleep normally and not wake up guilty and ashamed beside of Winry. But that hope was growing dimmer and dimmer as the days passed by. But still, Edward held onto that hope so that he could sleep once again.

Edward sighed to himself in sorrow. He knew what he had to do. It wasn’t going to be easy. But, he had to do it. His relationship with Winry and his sex life depended on it! “I have to give it my all to apologize to Winry and pleasure her to the fullest to mean it!” he thought. Then, the alchemist rose to his feet and headed downstairs to the lobby.