The Experience (Pt. 2):

Simone’s Notes:

Some authorities observe infidelity is involved in 90% of first time divorces. A 1997 study with Kristina Gordon found 'more than half of the marriages that experience infidelity ended in divorce'. By contrast John Gottman with his 35 years of research into marriage is reported as saying "Only 20 percent of divorces are caused by an affair. Most marriages die with a whimper, as people turn away from one another, slowly growing apart." Fifty United Kingdom divorce lawyers were asked to name the most common causes of their cases in 2003. Of those who cited extramarital affairs, 55% said it was usually the husbands and 45% said that it was the wives who cheated. In addition between 10-15% of children are conceived as a result of an affair. Infidelity that does not involve sex or conception may be referred to as a romantic friendship or an emotional affair. Sometimes infidelity at home occurs on-line, where it may be known as virtual sex. On-line infidelity can sometimes signify deeper problems of addiction that may need to be addressed in addition to any marital problems that might emerge from this behavior.

*Damon*

I can’t trust myself anymore. I have just now realized that tonight. No. I have always known that I couldn’t trust myself. I was only in denial until now. My main problem is myself of course. But the two factors to my addiction are the two women I have come to know and love: Carol and Ginny. They will be my downfall. These amazing women don’t mean to be, but they will.

My realization came tonight. I was at the juice bar when Ginny, Mikey, and Hunter. The boys don’t trust me for the right reasons. I won’t trust myself if I was them. But that wasn’t on my mind at the moment. My eyes were on Ginny. She was dancing around in a small sensual way. I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her. There was something about that young minx that had me mesmerized. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail. Her bangs gracefully caressed her cute forehead. The girl’s deep blue eyes hypnotized my soul into lust. Ginny’s outfit drew my attention as well. Her deep blue halter was tied on lovely body emphasized her perky breasts and flat stomach. Her skirt was short and black to her plump rich thighs. Her flap-flops were black and added charm to her feet. The girl’s finger and toenails were a dark pinkish fuchsia. The white gold earrings added a deep charm to her perfect pale cheeks. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I wanted her all to myself. I was so close to reaching out and grabbing her.

“No!” I thought in misery. “I’m happy married with a kid. I have to behave tonight! Just let go of it!” But I wasn’t too sure about myself. It only got worse when my muse sat down next to me on the couch. My heart raced all the way up to my throat. Ginny lightly laid her head upon my chest. I kept my eyes facing the ceiling. “Just don’t look at her!” I thought. She kept cuddling close to me.

“You happy tonight?” she asked in a sweet voice. That felt odd in my ear for some reason. I glanced down at her quickly.

“Hm?” I asked in slightly confusion. My muse didn’t look up at me at all.

“Are you happy tonight?” she asked again. I really didn’t understand her question.

“What do you mean?” I asked politely. Ginny finally looked up at me. Her deer blue eyes were just that powerful to me. I tried to look away again. But it was too much this time. The girl just had the face of a saint.

“You know,” Ginny went on to say. “You, me, my friends, Friday night, this place. Are you happy here or not?” I couldn’t bring myself to look at her again. How could I answer that in all truthfulness? I would be breaking the trust with Carol even more and destroying any hope of fixing my relationship with her. But if I lie, I won’t be hurting Ginny more than I already have. How did this happen again?

Then, she cuddled up close to me again. “I’m happy, if you are happy!” she said at last. I smiled gently at that statement. I lightly brushed some of her bangs away from her forehead. I lightly kissed her in the place that I had cleared. That was the kiss that started another round with her. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I tipped downward and lightly kissed her on the lips. She didn’t hesitate and kissed back lightly. Soon, it was one kiss after another. I put my arms around her and held her to my chest. She just kept kissing me on the lips. Suddenly, it was as if it was just her and me in the room now. Everyone else had left except for us. Something told me this was a bad idea, but I didn’t care anymore. I just had to have my youthful muse.

Pretty soon, we were back at her place. We ended up making out all the way home in the taxi. She must have left her friends behind as well. I noticed that there were no back-biting comments on the way back to the apartments. Ginny and I kept kissing all the way to her front door. She quickly unlocked the door and let us in. I quickly pushed her up against the kitchen wall kissing on her. She just grabbed onto me tightly. I couldn’t help but to notice that along with my desire rose up my guilt. I tried to push it out of my mind, but it just wouldn’t leave. “I know I shouldn’t be doing this,” I thought happily. “But it feels too good to stop!”

Sweet Ginny led me up to her bedroom. I pushed her up against a wall against. The heat storm within me was out of control now. I didn’t care about right or wrong anymore. I just had to have her now. Ginny led me over to her bed. I lied on top of her naturally. I had the fever again. I was determined to make my muse into a real woman tonight. I was surprised to find out what a great feeling this was. I hadn’t had this feeling since my wedding night with Carol. I decided to make the most of tonight with my muse.

I started off slow like a normally did. I took my time at first base with her. Sure I took her virginity already, but I still saw her as a young and sweet virgin. I had to be gentle with her this go-around. The girl looked up at me with those sweet blue eyes of hers. That old feeling of guilt crept up into my soul again. Suddenly, I couldn’t bring myself to carry out my mission. What was I even doing? I was happily married with a young son. So why was I even acting on my hormones? I froze and trembled sickly.

“Damon?” a small voice caught my attention. I looked down to see Ginny still looking at me.

“Is something wrong, Damon?” she asked child-like. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” I looked at her with big eyes. My muse was giving me a chance to opt out if I wanted. It should have been simple, right? But that was just the thing. I couldn’t. Part of me wanted to stop, but another part of me wanted to keep on going. I shut my eyes tightly. Damn, I hate when this happens. Why now of all moments?

I shook my head quickly. “N-Nothing!” I stammered out at last. “I’m perfectly fine!” She still kept looking at me with those sweet blue eyes. This time, they were filled with concern and worry. Ginny looked like a China doll that was about to cry. I really felt guilty now. How could I even think to ask on my own desires with her? I just felt sad and dirty all over. My muse lightly reached up and lightly touched me on the cheek.

“It’s okay,” she whispered to me like a sweet little saint. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” What could I say to that? I wanted to tell her, “No, it’s not okay! I have to make love to you tonight or I’ll be at the mercy of shaming myself at the hands of a local street whore.” But that would just be tasteless. What happened to me? I was red hot one minute and now, I’m chickening out on the moment of a lifetime. What can I do? What can I do? Then, Ginny leaned forward and lightly kissed me on the lips. I kissed back gently. She lightly leaned in close to my ear.

“Not tonight, huh?” she asked me. I didn’t know how to answer her at first. Then, I nodded at her lightly. I climbed off of her and lied down beside of her. She just smiled at me kindly.

“Maybe some other night?” she suggested.

“Yeah,” I replied in a whisper. “Maybe some other night.” We shared one more kiss for the night. I watched my muse sleep peacefully beside of me. I wanted her that badly. But yet, I couldn’t hurt Carol than I already have in the past. Right then, I knew what I had to do.