Disillusion:

Simone’s Notes:

Hedonism, as an ethical theory, claims that good and bad consist ultimately in pleasure and pain. Many hedonists, such as Epicurus, emphasize avoiding suffering over pursuing pleasure, because they find that the greatest happiness lies in a tranquil state  free from pain and from the worrisome pursuit or unwelcome consequences of pleasure. For stoicism, the greatest good lies in reason and virtue, but the soul best reaches it through a kind of indifference to pleasure and pain: as a consequence, this doctrine has become identified with self-control in front of even the worst sufferings. Jeremy Bentham developed hedonistic utilitarianism, a popular doctrine in ethics, politics, and economics. Bentham argued that the right act or policy was that which would cause "the greatest happiness of the greatest number". He suggested a procedure called hedonic or felicific calculus, for determining how much pleasure and pain would result from any action. John Stuart Mill improved and promoted the doctrine of hedonistic utilitarianism. Karl Popper, in The Open Society and Its Enemies, proposed a negative utilitarianism, which prioritizes the reduction of suffering over the enhancement of happiness when speaking of utility: "I believe that there is, from the ethical point of view, no symmetry between suffering and happiness, or between pain and pleasure. (…) human suffering makes a direct moral appeal for help, while there is no similar call to increase the happiness of a man who is doing well anyway." David Pearce's utilitarianism asks straightforwardly for the abolition of suffering. Many utilitarians, since Bentham, hold that the moral status of a being comes from its ability to feel pleasure and pain: moral agents should therefore consider not only the interests of human beings but also those of animals. Richard Ryder developed such a view in his concepts of 'speciesism' and 'painism'. Peter Singer, with his book Animal Liberation and other writings, represents the leading edge of this kind of utilitarianism.

Alex was lying in bed in misery. He just had a bitter awaking. Somewhere between being raped a second time and beaten and lying in his bed, he realized something. He was now trapped as their abuse toy to these lovely monsters. There was no way to save him now. Alex was just going to be a toy to these monsters. Just then, the door opened to his bedroom. Fear seized him quickly. His throat tightened. His heart was racing wildly. “Oh no!” the lamb thought in worry. “It’s them again!” But Ella came into the room with fresh sheets. The boy began to relax again. He breathed out heavily. Ella looked up at him smiling.

“What’s the matter, dear Alex?” she asked. The lamb was silent at first. Then he just shook his head. Ella smiled at him kindly.

“Oh don’t worry, my friend,” she said. “They won’t get you here today.” Alex sat up at that comment.

“How can you be so sure that they won’t?” he asked in a small voice. Ella paused from her work and looked up at him.

“Sorry?” she asked.

“How can you be so sure that they won’t attack me again?” the lamb asked. The really threw Ella for a loop with that one.

“What do you mean?” she asked mother-like.

“I just realized,” Alex replied. “No matter what you do to protect me, they’ll still come after me no matter what. You can’t save me.” Ella lightly held his hand.

“Don’t say that!” she argued back. “We will save you and get you home again. I promise.”

“But what if Allen doesn’t care?” he asked. “He would’ve been looking for me by now. You don’t think he forgot about me, do you?” Ella lightly quieted him down.

“It’s just the Sweet Jane talking,” she said. “Just lie and rest for a while. We won’t let anything else happen to you. I won’t let you die on me!” Ales didn’t seem to believe her at all at first. He just kept looking at her for a long while. Then, the lamb just finally lied back down in his bed. Ella smiled at him again kindly.

“There,” she said softly. “You’ll be fine by lunch.” Then she headed out to the living room.

Syd and the others sat on the couch and love seat waiting. They looked up when Ella came in the room. Her face looked pretty grim.

“He’s starting to lose hope,” she announced. “He thinks his step-father has forgotten him and that we can’t save him now.” Silence was all around.

“This is normal,” Syd said.

“How do we restore his faith?” Leon asked. The other bloke just shrugged.

“We can’t,” he replied. The other looked at shocked.

“What?!?” they all asked.

“Yeah,” Syd replied. “The incubi and succubi have broken him down to the point of hopelessness. Anything we do to raise his spirits again will be in vain.” Leon snorted.

“That’s bull shit!” he argued. They all looked at him with challenge.

“Oh really?” Syd asked.

“Yeah,” Leon followed up.

“How?” Syd asked. The other bloke sat up straighter.

“Just keep acting kind to him,” Leon answered. “Just because he’s given up on us does not mean we have to give up on him as well.”

“And what if he starts to turn us away?” Syd challenged.

“Keep on trying!” Leon shot back.

“After that?” Syd asked.

“Keep trying!” the other bloke yelled.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” the “leader” asked. “Some people are beyond hope!”

“But that doesn’t mean we should quit on them right away!” Leon pointed out.

“What if the problems gets worse and worse?” Syd asked.

“It’s worth the chance!” Leon barked.

“Stop it! Both of you!” Ella shouted. Both blokes paused and looked up at her.

“If you have forgotten,” she hissed. “Alex is in the other sleeping! He might have heard you all shouting like two old idiots!”

“So?” her bloke asked her.

“Either shut up or take your argument elsewhere!” she hissed. Both blokes went silent. Ella sat there boldly like a queen. It was clear that she had the real power in this situation.

Inside his bedroom, Alex had heard the whole fight. Syd’s words made him worry. What if he was a lost cause? What if there was no hope for him? Would he be forever doomed to be a play thing of the incubi and succubi? Would there be anyone to save him? Would he be able to live and survive when this is all over? Would he even go back to a normal life in the end? Would he even life to see a normal life again? As he wondered all of this, Alex slowly began to fall asleep.

The morning disappeared in a rush. The deities kept up with Alex’s every need. He seemed to be doing fine so far. Then, it hit pretty badly. The others were cleaning up the apartment some when they heard a scream. Leon recognized the voice right away.

“Gemma?” he asked. Then he ran straight down the hall.

“Gemma!” Leon yelled. Yasmine, Syd, and Ella ran after without a single thought. They all ran into Alex’s room. The young deity was sitting on the floor trembling in fright.

“Gemma,” Leon spoke up. “What’s the matter?” His young bird could barely speak at all. But she didn’t need to. They all looked up and saw the answer for themselves. Alex was lying in bed in the worst condition ever. The boy was skinny as a skeleton and very pale. His eyes looked like two huge glass buttons. The deities looked pale with freight.

“El-la…” Alex managed to say. The deity stepped forward.

“Yes?” she asked.

“I… feel… si-ck…” the boy managed to say.

“What happened to him?” Leon asked.

“It’s the Sweet Jane,” Yasmine answered. The other deities looked up at her.

“It ran off of things in his body to consume,” she went on. “It ate his inner tissue and body fat. Pretty soon it’ll shut down all of his organs.”

“What can we do?” Gemma finally managed to ask.

“Electric shock,” Leon answered. They all looked at him confused.

“We need to shock his heart,” he went on. “It’ll overwork his heart and flush out the Sweet Jane. But we’ll have to go to a hospital to pull that off.”

“St. Mary’s Touch is four blocks from here.” Ella said connecting the wires.

“Okay then,” Yasmine said. “We’ll take him to St. Mary’s Touch right away. We can’t wait any longer or he will die from the poison inside.”

“Wait!” a weak voice crooked out. The deities all looked up to see Alex still hanging on by a thread. Ella looked at him closely.

“What is it Alex?” she asked. The lamb trembled badly.

“I don’t want… Allen to… see me… like this…” he forced out. He coughed hard. Ella lightly smiled at him as she lightly placed her finger on his lips.

“Shhh!” she whispered him. “We won’t let Allen see you at all.” Alex tried to speak again, but lied back instead. Ella turned back to the others.

“We have to hurry!” she said out loud.

“Right!” they all agreed. They wrapped Alex up tightly like a package in tight wool blankets and carefully took him out of bed.

“I know the quickest way to St. Mary’s!” Yasmine said aloud.

“Lead the way!” Ella yelled. Then they all hurried out of the room.

The crew all made it to St. Mary’s Touch under a minute. Yasmine snuck them in through the back way. The deities raced up the stairs. They didn’t use their powers so not to draw any attention to them. Yasmine led them to one of the empty hospital rooms on the top floor. She broke down the door to get him.

“Syd, Leon, get the defibrillator!” the deity yelled out. “Quickly!” The blokes ran out of the room to do so. The birds quickly unwrapped Alex and checked for his pulse.

“There’s still time!” Ella exclaimed. “Lift up his shirt!” Gemma and Yas pushed up his shirt.

“Stay with us, Alex!” Ella yelled to him. “I won’t let you die on me! You won’t give up!” Right then, Leon and Syd returned with the defibrillator. The birds looked up at the sound of the door opening.

“Good!” Ella said. “Plug it up! Hurry!” The blokes did so with speed. Syd blocked off the door so that no one could get in and throw them out.

“Hang in there, Alex!” Ella shouted to him. “You can’t quit on us now!” Leon stepped forward with the paddles in his hands. The other deity moved away to let him work. Leon put the paddles to Alex’s chest.

“Someone turn on the machine!” he yelled out. Gemma crawled over to the box and cut it on. Leon pressed the paddles down on Alex’s chest. The first shock came at a normal rate. No much was done.

“Give me a higher voltage!” Leon yelled out. Gemma turned it up to thirty-five. Her bloke tried again. The result was the same.

“More!” Leon shouted. His bird nodded. Gemma turned it to forty-five. Leon tried again. This time, there was a little response.

“Just a little more!” the deity yelled. “We just about have it.” Gemma nodded and turned it up to sixty-four volts. Leon shocked Alex’s chest again. This time, the response was a strong one. Syd and Yasmine could see Alex’s heart pumping as fast as it could. The Sweet Jane was being flushed out like water in a pipe. His body was slowly going at ease peacefully. The color on his flesh went snow white. They all waited closely. Part one was finished. Now they had to wait until the poison was all clear and then shock him again to bring him back to life. The amount of Sweet Jane depended on how long it would take before it was all cleaned out. Since Alex’s body was filled to the pore with the drug, it would take up to hours for it to drain.

“Hang in there,” Ella told him. “We won’t quit on you at all! Don’t quit on us either!” Time dragged on slowly. Alex seemed to be going in and out of his body repeatedly. Ella didn’t lose hope for him at all. She was determined to keep him alive at all costs. She even held his weak and thin hand lightly and kept talking to him. For once, Syd seemed pretty mellow at moments like this.

After what felt like forever, Alex’s heart finally slowed down to a stop. The Sweet Jane was completely cleared from his body. The deities all looked at each other. It was time to bring him back to life. Leon took up the paddles again and placed them to his chest.

“Cut it on!” he ordered his bird. Gemma cut the machine on the same level as the one that cleaned Alex’s body. Her bloke pressed down on the boy’s chest. That shock quickly brought Alex back to life. Ella lightly felt his pulse. She smiled and breathed out in relief. The others relaxed.

“He’s fine now!” Ella announced. “He’ll be awake by morning.”

“And his appearance?” Gemma asked.

“His weight and color will return by morning as well.” Ella told her. Leon just sat back breathing out in relief. Syd stood in the corner smiling. Ella leaned down to Alex and lightly kissed him on the forehead.

“See?” she asked him kindly. “Told you I wouldn’t let you die on us. Just keep on fighting to survive.” Maybe one imagined it, but Alex seemed to be smiling at her words. It was as if he had chosen to keep fighting after all.