Citizen/Soldier

*Laurence*

How exactly do I end up being the one to clean up all of the messes? I’m always the one to get everyone out of stupid jams that they got themselves mixed up into. They all come crying to me to home get them back out again. It started out with just Ralph’s crap. I had to provide the excuses to all the girls he slept with and how he didn’t want to see them again. I actually have to lie to their faces. That’s right, I always get stuck doing my brother’s dirty work. Pathetic, huh? I know. But now, I’m cleaning up my other housemates as well.

I’m still wondering how that happened. Did Ralph tell on me or something? Is this some sick joke? If it is, it’s not funny! It started when Angelica came to me with a little favor to ask of me.

“Larry!” she said to me sounding so sweet. I looked at her suspiciously. I’m not stupid. I knew that tone too well. Ralph tries to fake being nice when he wants something from me. So, I knew that Angelica was up to something.

“What do you want, Angelica?” I asked her. She still tried to play sweet and innocent. She was even hugging on me. Okay, I’m scared now!

“Angelica!” I wailed out. “What do you want? Why are you hugging on me?” She didn’t answer at first.

“Mmmm!” Angie replied. “You feel great!” I was really freaking out now. My heart was pounding hard again my chest. My body suddenly just broke out in sweat all over. Oh shit! Why is she hitting on me like this? What does she want from me? Then, Angie leaned in close to my ear.

“Be my fake boyfriend for tomorrow,” she said. My eyes grew wide really fast at that one! I looked at her worried.

“WHAT?!?” I asked in shock. Angelica looked up at me innocently.

“Oh come on, Larry-kins!” she called to me. “I really need you!”

“Larry-kins?” I asked nervously. Angelica hugged me even tighter to her.

“Pleaseeee!” she begged me. “If you don’t, I forever going to be harassed by two boys that have a crush on me that I don’t even want! Do it for me, please Larry-kins!” I sighed aloud. Being the sucker that I am, I didn’t even bother to try and fight back. I just shrugged under her tight grasp.

“Fine!” I said aloud to her. “I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend!”

“Yay!” Angelica squealed aloud in my ears as she hugged me tightly again. I couldn’t breathe and I thought that I would go deaf. My eyes grew big in shock again. Oh shit! What have I gotten myself into now?!? But it wasn’t over from there!

In the course of three days, I was providing more lies to Melanine and Ralph’s other girls for Ralph, playing perverted messenger to Shannon’s men (Yuck!), coming with excuses for Edward to give to Winry about where he really was, helping Kenisuke and Matt get rid of their drugs, trying to get Melanine out of a jam that she got herself into with the teachers and a female gang that she ran into on the street after one night of partying (nearly got killed my the female gang after they beat me up when Mel ran away. Melanine should know better than to “give them cheek,” whatever that means), and getting Poppy and Lonna’s homework from their dorm rooms when they forgot it. I just didn’t understand. How did I get myself into this situation?

“What did I do to be the janitor of all of your messes?” I asked Edward in the library out of frustration one day. He just lightly shrugged at me.

“Dunno,” Ed replied. “Maybe because you are just a nice guy!” I just sighed and dropped my face on the table. Oh nice! I’m the janitor *and* the doormat! Brilliant, just f*****g brilliant! I just kept my mouth shut at that one. What was there to say? I couldn’t argue with that kind of logic. I just got up and walked back to my dorm in silence.

I fell back onto my bed stressed out. How and why do I always put myself in situations I dealt with over the past three days? I should know how to say no by now. But somehow I’m suckered into cleaning up their messes. I sighed again annoyed. If this keeps up, I’m going to be in an early grave because of a heart attack or high blood pressure. But what can I do? Edward was right. I am just a nice guy. A nice guy who just can’t say no to his housemates. Pathetic, I know! But what can I do? I don’t even know how much more I can take anymore. A person can only take so much before they snap. I’m waiting for my moment to come along. *Shutter* I just hate thinking about it. But what can I do? I’m just a nice guy. D’oh! I hate myself for that!

I’m a Loser