Blinded by the Lights:

Simone’s Notes:

What are our inner demons? It can be many things: alcoholism, depression, addiction, childhood trauma, the list goes on. Our inner demons vary in size. Some can be really small. Others are normally big. Some people have one and others have many. Everyone has an inner demon. We can ignore them if we like, but eventually we have to face our inner demons.

The news came as a semi-shock the next morning. Everyone, military and WAGs, were all in the dining area of Central Headquarters. Monique looked slightly worried sitting alone. She had woken up and realized Jez wasn’t beside of her. The woman feared the worst. Things weren’t looking good for her. Her friends had seemed to have abandoned her because of her relationships with Jez. She just wanted a little peace now. But now, that hope was being destroyed in a rush. The doors blew open in a gust of wind. Everyone looked up to see Mustang, Hughes, and Gates in the doorway. The crowd became confused. Why was Judd out of prison now? Monique felt sick and guilty just be looking at him. She felt bad for cheating on him while he was in jail.

Mustang stepped forward. “Everyone,” he said. “I hate to inform you all, but Father Col. Jez Darwin was found hanging in his house last night.” The whole room was silent. “It was suicide from guilt of adultery.” Mustang went on. Monique went pale at that statement. “I… caused his death?” she thought in worry. “I had no idea!” Mrs. Gates suddenly felt like crying in misery, but didn’t. She didn’t want to give herself away. “In other news,” Roy went on. “Col. Gates has been cleared of any charges made against him and we would like to welcome him back.” Hughes turned to the now free man “It is good to have you among friends again.” he said. Gates nodded. “I thank you sir.” he replied. “And because of our work to get Col. Gates free again,” Mustang went on again. “Hughes and I have gotten promotions.” Everyone applauded him. Hughes nudged Mustang lightly. The newly made major general looked at the colonel from the corner of his eye. “Yes Maes?” he asked under his breath. “We should talk to Mrs. Gate soon,” his friend advised. “Yes, I am on it!” Roy whispered back to him. “I’ll get her when it cools down some.” “Okay.” Hughes replied. Then, they acted as they enjoyed the applause on them. Monique just sank her head down in shame. She knew that she was under fire now. Her lover was dead because of her and her husband was out of jail now. She had been unfaithful while her first man was behind bars. Judd wouldn’t forgive her now. He might even request a divorce now.

Monique wasn’t the only one owning up for her sins. Edward was still having insomnia problems. French made him go to the lobby and take a nice long rest for a while. He insisted that he was fine. But no sooner had he turned to leave, the alchemist had collapsed onto the office floor due to lack of sleep. The brigadier general had to drag him out of her office and all the way to the lobby. Renee put him on the couch and let him there. She requested that everyone leave Fullmetal alone while he was out cold. Ed was gone in a black sleep. At least now, he could rest from the forever-growing insomnia that had been plaguing him for four whole months now. But the much needed sleep didn’t help him at all. For, he was facing his own inner demon.

[Dream Begins]

Edward awoke in a dark temple. The only lights available were the torches on the stone walls. Chains and other devices of torture were hanging on the walls as well. He felt so cold all of a sudden. The boy slowly pushed himself up to his feet. Cold stone was everywhere. Icy water seemed to be dripping from the invisible ceiling. When a drop hit his cheek, Edward shivered. This was the last place he wanted to be on the planet. He wanted out right away, where ever out was. “What is the place?” Ed thought nervously. For the fear time in years, the Fullmetal Alchemist felt fear. This place was worse than Hell itself. Things were about to get worse.

In the dim light, Edward heard the heavy breathing of an evil beast. The alchemist slowly looked in front of him to see a huge iron bar cage. It was as if he was staring up at the very gates of Hell. A low growl came from behind the bars. Edward wanted to run away, but something wouldn’t do that. It was as if he was expecting whatever was in the cage. At last, it came to him. The dragon in his soul showed its face to its host at long last. This thing was huge! A leviathan couldn’t compete was this creature. The dragon was blacker than night with razor sharp teeth and long deadly claws. Ed really couldn’t move now. He had no idea this beast was so huge! He was glad that that thing was perfectly locked away from him. Otherwise, well… does it have to be said? Edward just couldn’t take his eyes off of this dragon. What was this might beast?

The dragon turned its bronze-gold eyes to its host. “What are you eye-balling, ya runt?” it hissed at him. Edward’s fear turned into anger. “WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HALF-PINT DWARF?!?” he snapped. The dragon just glared at him as if to say, “I will set you ablaze in this cage right now!” Ed went quiet in fear again. “Uh…” he said. “I’m…. sorry…” The dragon smirked at him. “Much better!” it hissed. The host stared on in silence. “W-Who are you?” he asked at last. “What are you?” The dragon looked at the boy. “Why do you care?” it asked. “I am the master and you are my slave! What ever I want, you answer to me!” “Why should I?” Edward barked aloud. “I am not a slave!!!” “Sorry?” the dragon asked coldly. The boy went silent again. It was right! Edward was now nothing but a mere slave to this powerful beast. It was taking over his life slowly. There was nothing he could do about his situation but obey to this dragon.

“What do you want from me?” Edward asked aloud at last. The beast smirked at him coldly. Its ugly razor sharp teeth made the host really nervous. “I only want sex!” it replied. “More and more of it every single day!” Ed’s eyes grew big in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” he cried out. “Sex has almost ruined my relationship with Winry! She doesn’t even trust me anymore!” “But why does she keep you around then?” the dragon challenged. Edward went quietly again. It had him there. Why did Winry keep him around if she didn’t trust him? “She loves you, Edward,” the dragon interrupted his thoughts. “She loves you and wants to own you in a sense!” The alchemist stared the beast with big eyes again. “WHAT?!?” he yelled out in shock. “It’s true!” the dragon went on. “She sees you as a dildo on wheels. You are a pleasure thing to her! Winry doesn’t want to share you with anyone else. But, I don’t think it’s fair for her to have two men and expect you to stay on a leash and muzzle all of the time!” Ed’s anger rose again. “That’s bull shit!!!” he yelled out. “Why?” the beast asked. “Because you know it’s true in your heart of hearts and you refuse to admit it because it would take away the one thing that makes you a man?” “THAT’S NOT TRUE!!!” the host screamed out. “It is and you know it!” the dragon called back. “She sees you like a little toy!” Edward was too scared and angry to speak back anymore. This unspeakable evil had a powerful hold of him and he couldn’t escape it!

[End of Dream]

Edward lied there in the lobby awake and in cold fear. The dragon was getting to him pretty badly this time. He couldn’t escape his slavery on his own. It only processed to drag him into new depths of shame and disgrace. If he didn’t do something fast, he would loose everything! But what could Edward do? How could he win? How could he hope to win?